The Goth Workout


1.Cardio/ Vascular


3. Side Leg Lifts

4.Calf Raises

5.Push Ups


7.Pelvic Tilts

8. Shoulder Circles

Dietary Tips

Words of Encouragement

The Goth Workout


I shall be the first to admit that this sounds like a cheesy idea, but noticing the increasing number of tubby-goths out there, it is not so bad. I feel it is my duty as a health conscious human being to bring this useful list of exercises, carefully fine tuned to the needs of the non-waify goth, onto the web. I have included a few dietary tips to slimming down without taking crank, and a blurb about the benefits of muscle tone over the starved look.

*Before starting any exercise routine, remember to consult a physician. Also, remember to always warm up with some aerobic activity before stretching and finish with some light stretching.*

CARDIOVASCULAR: benefits include improving your heart and lungs(you can run longer, and clear all that gunk out of your lungs from smokin cloves); reducing fat, increasing metabolism (means the more you do them the faster you will lose weight).

Move!! Do anything that will keep your heart rate up for a minimum of twenty minutes. Allow for an additional five minutes warm up and five minutes cool down. You can do pretty much anything. I enjoy riding my bike, but doing anything for the duration of about two Sisters of Mercy songs should do it. Make sure, though, that you are moving enough to raise your heart rate. faster songs are better than slow, to exercise to. Don't take too many breaks, and if you do, be sure you've kept your heart rate up.

To calculate where your heart rate should be for the twenty minutes, use the following equations. (If you don't know your resting heart rate, simply eliminate it from the equation):

1.) 220 - age - resting heart rate = heart rate reserve

2.) (heart rate reserve x .5 (lower tone) or .85 (higher tone) + resting heart rate = zone

*For exercises 2-7, start with 1 set of 10 repetitions, gradually increasing sets and reps as able.*

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SQUATS: thighs-front and back

Stand with feet shoulder width apart and toes pointing forward, keeping weight on heels, bend legs until knees are at 90 angles. Raise arms and lean forward as necessary to keep weight over heels. At all times, shoulders should remain over ankles. Lower and raise for one complete repetition.

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SIDE LEG LIFTS: outer hips & thighs

Lie on side. Support upper body either on elbow or lie flat. Keeping hips steady and perpendicular to the ground, raise upper leg as high as possible. Do not twist or rotate hips. Return to starting position and repeat at a slow, controlled speed.

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CALF RAISES: calves (This exercise is especially helpful if you tend to wear high heeled boots as it stretches the muscles and tendons that get all bunched up. )

Stand on the edge of a ledge (street curbs work well, and you can do it any time if you're bored on the street) with only the balls of the feet on the ledge. Allow heels to drop slightly. Raise heels as high as possible, keeping knees straight.

If the stretch is too much when standing you're on a ledge, you can perform this exercise on a flat surface.
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PUSH UPS: chest and back of arms (keeps you from getting that flabby look on your arms that isn't attractive in any subculture. Also prevents saggy breasts.)

Start on your knees with your hands slightly wider than shoulder width on a chair or a wall. Lower your body (keeping your hips in line with shoulders and knees) until your chest just touches the space between your hands. Push back up. Repeat until you're too tired to keep your body straight. Once strong enough, move to the floor.
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CRUNCHES: middle abdominal (especially nice if you like wearing shirts that bare your midriff, or if your navel is pierced. keeps you from having either a pudgy middle or a sunken stomach, neither of which are attractive. Besides, what's more attractive than a perfect belly?)

Lie on back with your knees bent approximately 90 degrees and feet on the floor or with your lower legs resting on a chair. Cross your arms behind your head with hands touching opposite shoulders. Press your lower back into the floor, hold in your stomach, and raise shoulder blades off floor. Raise and lower in a slow, controlled manner. Tighten your stomach as much as possible with each crunch.
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PELVIC TILTS: lower abdominal (For ladies, these can be good for relieving menstrual cramps. For men, improves the sexual thrust.)

Lie on your back in the same position as for crunches. Press your lower back into the floor while tilting your hip bones back and your pelvic bone up. DO NOT lift hips. DO NOT tighten buttocks. DO use your abdominal.. The motion should be small when performed correctly. These can also be done with one leg raised or both legs raised for increased intensity. Do not move or swing legs, and do not tighten your butt.

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SHOULDER CIRCLES: shoulders and upper back(Gives that neat rippled effect, and makes it easire to support a cape or leather jacket. Great for posture)

Start without weights, gradually adding weights (such as dumbbells, soup cans, a cat, anything will dojust so long as there is some resistance....). Stand with your shoulders and spine straight. Allowing your arms to hang, move your shoulders in big circles. For a second set, move in opposite direction.

*This is a great exercise for tension relief and tension prevention.*

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A few years ago my mother suffered severe acid reflux that dissolved part of her esophagus. Her doctor, to speed her recovery prescribed a completely fat free diet. She lost 25 pounds in four weeks. I am not saying that you should follow this example, but eliminating fat is the best way to lose weight. Some basic things to avoid are: Cheese and most dairy products, mayonaisse and mayonaisse based sauces, meat(mainly beef), avocadoes, and sour cream, and fried foods(including chips and hard tacos).

A big mistake people make is to starve themselves. This is not a good idea. What they should be doing is trying to reduce their apetite. This should not be done by simply not eating. Don't eat until you are really truly hungry. When you feel like you want to eat, think to yourself "Am I really hungry?" If the answer is no, just follow this exercise: Wait ten minutes. If youwait ten minutes, or go do something else for ten minutes (read, watch t.v, have a smoke, take a walk) usually you'll forget you were hungry.

When you sit down to a meal, try not to eat right away. This is especially true in restaurants. Before you eat, drink at least one full glass of ice water. Not only does your body burn calories trying to heat it for digestion, but your stomach will begin to numb, curbing your hunger pangs. You can also drink a full glass of a soft drink. Also, no matter what, you never have to eat everything on your plate. If all else fails, take it home in a doggie bag. You will have another meal for when you are low on cash, or you can give it to a gutterpunk.

As far as calories go, one of the highest calorie foods is alcohol. Hard liquor has just as many if not more calories than wine or beer. AVOID BINGE DRINKING OR HAVING TOO MANY DRINKS. This, if you are a drinker, will cut your daily calories at least in half. Besides, the less you drink, the lower your tolerance will be,and that saves money!!

Here is a list of some of my favorite munching snacks that keep me from overeating.

Popcorn (air popped with butter substitute or garlic salt)

Baby carrots(great stress releiver when you're pissed off or depressed)

Onion or Garlic Bagels(fat free!!!)

V-8(or tomato juice)

(if you're into the vampire thing, mix equal parts tomato and orange juice, heat to body temp. and it tastes just like blood!)

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Words Of Encouragement